I am sorry!!! I made a mistake. My best friend isn't mad at me for what I did, she's upset about the way I did it :) Now I don't mind as much lol. That's so terrible. Water under the bridge, sorry, babe :)
Melissa
Thursday, September 30, 2004
Tuesday, September 28, 2004
NEW MUSIC TUESDAY!!!
I'm so excited!!! Apparently I'm an idiot, and haven't been to my favorite links in a while, so today I went cuz I was updating my yahoo thing. Lara Fabian's new album is out all over the damn world, but not in the US yet, Donny Osmond is preparing new projects and Pyramid is moving to a new network rather than being cancelled, yay! Devin Lima (LFO) will be working with some friends and on Sept 29 will be opening up for Jordan Knight (New Kids, surreal life) in Orlando!!! I wanna go! It's too damn cold in freakin' Indiana :) I hope Jordan gets on the ball and puts a new album out soon. Joey McIntyre has a new one and it's intresting lol. Let's see what else...Kelly Clarkson (first American Idol) will have her second album out around Nov I guess and Clay Aiken (2nd place, 2nd American Idol) is wrapping up his solo tour and doing x-mas stuff and another album. Kim Locke (3rd place, 2nd AI) is gonna release "You've Changed" from her album which rocks cuz it's a great song that she co-wrote. Whoo! I've run out of energy to think. Later
Melissa
Melissa
RESPECT
Respect - what does it mean? My best friend just told me that her respect for me has gone down the tubes based on an indiscretion I had. I did not wait for marriage, enough said. This has sent me into a terrible downward tailspin. It's a terribly upsetting thing. I just wonder what all she considers 'respect'.
originally after I heard her say this, I thought she just hated me. She said she didn't hate me, just didn't respect me. I'm just so completely confused over this. Apparently she doesn't admire, appreciate, value me, want to give me any attention, courtesy, or dignity, but at the same time she doesn't hate me. What is that all about? Now, my birthday is Friday and she called the other day picking out my present. Please tell me why you get someone you don't care for very much anymore a present. I'm wondering if I should tell her to save her money and take it back and leave me alone. Perhaps I'm just taking this way too hard, because I don't actually feel like our relationship has changed, but I am very cautious around her now, like I have to walk on eggshells. She's my best friend and I just shared a very personal secret with her that I don't wish to share with my family. She is my age and we are close and I feel she should be supportive, or at least keep an open mind. No, she just shuts me down and makes me feel like a terrible person, no not even a person. Maybe I shouldn't have told her, but why bother having a best friend if you can't tell them the bad stuff as well as the good. It's just driving me nutz. I know she comes from a strict family and they would be very hard on her if she was in this position, but damn, don't dehumanize me over my decisions.
Melissa
Thesaurus.com says some synonyms for respect are:
- admiration
- appreciation
- attention
- consideration
- courtesy
- dignity
- value
originally after I heard her say this, I thought she just hated me. She said she didn't hate me, just didn't respect me. I'm just so completely confused over this. Apparently she doesn't admire, appreciate, value me, want to give me any attention, courtesy, or dignity, but at the same time she doesn't hate me. What is that all about? Now, my birthday is Friday and she called the other day picking out my present. Please tell me why you get someone you don't care for very much anymore a present. I'm wondering if I should tell her to save her money and take it back and leave me alone. Perhaps I'm just taking this way too hard, because I don't actually feel like our relationship has changed, but I am very cautious around her now, like I have to walk on eggshells. She's my best friend and I just shared a very personal secret with her that I don't wish to share with my family. She is my age and we are close and I feel she should be supportive, or at least keep an open mind. No, she just shuts me down and makes me feel like a terrible person, no not even a person. Maybe I shouldn't have told her, but why bother having a best friend if you can't tell them the bad stuff as well as the good. It's just driving me nutz. I know she comes from a strict family and they would be very hard on her if she was in this position, but damn, don't dehumanize me over my decisions.
Melissa
Monday, September 27, 2004
Joke
Phil goes into the doctor. Doctor says I'm sorry, you don't have much time to live. Phil askes "How much time do I have left?" The doctor replies "Ten". "Ten, what?" asks Phil. "Nine" answers the doctor :)
I found that funny cuz there is a Phil in my life I would like to say that to lol.
I found that funny cuz there is a Phil in my life I would like to say that to lol.
Work today :(
WORK TODAY SUCKED!!!
I am such a big fucking idiot!!! I should start by saying that I like this dude that I work with who has just been promoted from cashier to service desk. Well last Wed., when I randomly had the balls to do it, I asked him if he "wanted to do something sometime". Weak, I know. Well he replied with "I'm kinda seein' someone." Kinda? Whatever. So after I did that and got the following week's schedule, I discovered that we worked the same shift today. CURSES!!!
The past few days have been spent fretting over what would happen today. My ultimate goal I decided would be to fly under the radar and stay out of his way. I knew he would be there along with this other woman who I can't stand. As I arrived to work at 1:30, the morning had already been cruel to me, so I was hoping to be put on a far register where I didn't have everyone in my business, and where I woudn't have to be by the desk. Well I got put kinda farther away from the main action of the store, and I was grateful and a happy little person. I got through a few orders and suddenly I was weighing bananas and my scale went out so I re-adjusted it. After that, everything should have been fine, but no! Oh hell no. Whole damn scale died! I had a long line and people with big orders and I had to hand type every digit on the bar code of every individual item. One person had 32 cans of cat food plus her other crap! Fucking hell!
I flag down someone from the service desk and of course, he comes over and I"m just sweating and nervous that he is gonna hate me more now for asking him out and looking incompetent. Then another manger comes over and I get moved out of my happy little far off register to the main action of the floor where everything is crazy. I nearly cried as more mangers came and looked at the register and seemed to look at me and back at the scale. I'm paranoid enough, stop looking at me and fix your damn machine! You could at least ask me what I did rather than just look at me >:( Grrr. I was so damn bummed that when my favorite bagger came in I was even mean to him and he's not feeling good. Sorry Ken.
As far as posative things at work go, I got my break on time and I read a good joke which I will post seperately :)
Melissa
I am such a big fucking idiot!!! I should start by saying that I like this dude that I work with who has just been promoted from cashier to service desk. Well last Wed., when I randomly had the balls to do it, I asked him if he "wanted to do something sometime". Weak, I know. Well he replied with "I'm kinda seein' someone." Kinda? Whatever. So after I did that and got the following week's schedule, I discovered that we worked the same shift today. CURSES!!!
The past few days have been spent fretting over what would happen today. My ultimate goal I decided would be to fly under the radar and stay out of his way. I knew he would be there along with this other woman who I can't stand. As I arrived to work at 1:30, the morning had already been cruel to me, so I was hoping to be put on a far register where I didn't have everyone in my business, and where I woudn't have to be by the desk. Well I got put kinda farther away from the main action of the store, and I was grateful and a happy little person. I got through a few orders and suddenly I was weighing bananas and my scale went out so I re-adjusted it. After that, everything should have been fine, but no! Oh hell no. Whole damn scale died! I had a long line and people with big orders and I had to hand type every digit on the bar code of every individual item. One person had 32 cans of cat food plus her other crap! Fucking hell!
I flag down someone from the service desk and of course, he comes over and I"m just sweating and nervous that he is gonna hate me more now for asking him out and looking incompetent. Then another manger comes over and I get moved out of my happy little far off register to the main action of the floor where everything is crazy. I nearly cried as more mangers came and looked at the register and seemed to look at me and back at the scale. I'm paranoid enough, stop looking at me and fix your damn machine! You could at least ask me what I did rather than just look at me >:( Grrr. I was so damn bummed that when my favorite bagger came in I was even mean to him and he's not feeling good. Sorry Ken.
As far as posative things at work go, I got my break on time and I read a good joke which I will post seperately :)
Melissa
Monday, September 20, 2004
MY MOTHER!!!
I'M SO MAD AT MY MOTHER!!! I'm 22 almost and she's 60. My grandmother is 80. Well my grandmother is old and annoying and can't take care of herself so my mom gets overwhelmed with the universe and has a huge drinking problem due to that. My mother has also got quite a few health problems of her own and I'm convinced she's got a brain tumor because she is always closing one eye to see and complaining that it hurts. The eye doctor said she has fine vision and nothing is wrong with either of her eyes except for her vision. Well mom is slowly but surely giving up on life and she's not useless at all! I'm so pissed because I am young and REFUSE to deal with this just the way she refuses to help her mother. The difference is that her mother hardly raised her and never wanted her really in the first place, but that's a long story. Needless to say mom resents nana, but my mother raised me so why am I resentful? Because I don't want to deal with nana either! Mom is killing herself and she's gonna leave me to deal with her problems! No fucking way! I can hardly put my anger into words! No, I don't want to drive you to the store, you're fine! No, I'm not checking your email, you know perfectly well how to get on the Internet and do this! GRRRRR!!!!! Help me ppl!
Melissa
Melissa
Thursday, September 16, 2004
Cat's Tail :)
Last night I had a crazy dream that my cat's tail broke off and mom and dad weren't home. Dad eneded up nailing the tail back on Oliver, just like poor Eyore. :)
Monday, September 13, 2004
Going to Vegas, baby!
Aloha!
Last night my best friend and I were going nutz because we wanted out of our houses. We both had money and were deciding what to do. Randomly my friend shouted out 'Let's go to Las Vegas!' I was like ' Yay, I have money, I'll get us there, you pay for the gambling' :) Well we never quite made it to Vegas, but we did go to dinner at Bennigan's where I ordered the Kilkenny Chicken Salad, and then we went across the street to the golf center and played a game of mini-golf. I won. I got mostly 3's :) Probably the best game I ever played. The best you could do was a 41 and I got a 54. Bff got a 70 lol.
Now instead of going to Vegas, we hit the arcade lol. I think we spent the same amount as we would have traveling, just kidding. I don't think I would ever want to go to Vegas to gamble, because I spent so much stupid cash on tokens for ski-ball and the one thing were you put tokens in to knock other tokens off the shelves and get more quarters, tokens, tickets, whatever. I think we spent about $15 just on the arcade. We ended up with over 800 tickets! Had I known that I would have brought them back on Wednesday when they were worth double points ;) The prizes there were kinda crappy, but I did get some nice stationary. I'm happy. I want to go back and waste more money. LAS VEGAS, HERE I COME, BABY :)
Melissa
Last night my best friend and I were going nutz because we wanted out of our houses. We both had money and were deciding what to do. Randomly my friend shouted out 'Let's go to Las Vegas!' I was like ' Yay, I have money, I'll get us there, you pay for the gambling' :) Well we never quite made it to Vegas, but we did go to dinner at Bennigan's where I ordered the Kilkenny Chicken Salad, and then we went across the street to the golf center and played a game of mini-golf. I won. I got mostly 3's :) Probably the best game I ever played. The best you could do was a 41 and I got a 54. Bff got a 70 lol.
Now instead of going to Vegas, we hit the arcade lol. I think we spent the same amount as we would have traveling, just kidding. I don't think I would ever want to go to Vegas to gamble, because I spent so much stupid cash on tokens for ski-ball and the one thing were you put tokens in to knock other tokens off the shelves and get more quarters, tokens, tickets, whatever. I think we spent about $15 just on the arcade. We ended up with over 800 tickets! Had I known that I would have brought them back on Wednesday when they were worth double points ;) The prizes there were kinda crappy, but I did get some nice stationary. I'm happy. I want to go back and waste more money. LAS VEGAS, HERE I COME, BABY :)
Melissa
Sunday, September 12, 2004
New Relationship freaks me out!!!
Aloha
My Name is Melissa and this if my frist blog. I want to talk about something scary yet interesting going on in my life - a relationship. I'm going to be 22 in October and have never been in a serious relationship. There was an Internet relationship, but people would argue about how "real" that was. Ok, so back a handful of years ago when Erin Brockovich was in movie theaters, I went out with this guy. I didn't really care for him then, he was a high school dropout who drank and smoked a LOT. We went to that movie and then I never heard from him again. Now that a few years have passed, I am at IUN and I see this dude. He's gotten his GED, stopped smoking and drinking, he doesn't care for porn, and doesn't really care for sex (well that's not a fair statement, but he won't be sleeping with me is the point.)
Sounds like a dream guy right? No, he's not gay. He's only dated 2 women, one of them he was engaged to. He found me in the computer lab the other day and immediately latched onto me. Apparently, he's been in love with me the day he saw me. I am a little scared and overwhelmed by this. We spent 4 hours straight talking about everything, I mean EVERYTHING. It all seemed to flow nicely and there weren't uncomfortable silences. He does say "I don't know" a lot at the end of every thought he utters. Sort of annoying. Well I'm just kinda scared because right away he was all holding my hands and pinching my cheeks when I smiled. He had his arms around my shoulders and back and he would just hold me. S to the C to the ARY ;) I hardly remember this dude from the past and he's all hanging on me telling me that he wants a wife to stay home and be a soccer mom. I could be that type of person but damn, technically I've only known him 4 hours and I want his paws off me.
Would someone kindly let me know if I am over reacting? Should I let him do this and just go nutz about it? The whole time this was going on I was sweating like a pig! I had to sit in my next class by this hot dude and I literally had to move away cuz I had such bad BO and didn't want to offend anyone. Is he moving too fast or am I still living in the good days when you wouldn't hold a hand untill you had been seeing each other a few times. Is society moving this quickly? Help. Comments are greatly appreciated.
Melissa
My Name is Melissa and this if my frist blog. I want to talk about something scary yet interesting going on in my life - a relationship. I'm going to be 22 in October and have never been in a serious relationship. There was an Internet relationship, but people would argue about how "real" that was. Ok, so back a handful of years ago when Erin Brockovich was in movie theaters, I went out with this guy. I didn't really care for him then, he was a high school dropout who drank and smoked a LOT. We went to that movie and then I never heard from him again. Now that a few years have passed, I am at IUN and I see this dude. He's gotten his GED, stopped smoking and drinking, he doesn't care for porn, and doesn't really care for sex (well that's not a fair statement, but he won't be sleeping with me is the point.)
Sounds like a dream guy right? No, he's not gay. He's only dated 2 women, one of them he was engaged to. He found me in the computer lab the other day and immediately latched onto me. Apparently, he's been in love with me the day he saw me. I am a little scared and overwhelmed by this. We spent 4 hours straight talking about everything, I mean EVERYTHING. It all seemed to flow nicely and there weren't uncomfortable silences. He does say "I don't know" a lot at the end of every thought he utters. Sort of annoying. Well I'm just kinda scared because right away he was all holding my hands and pinching my cheeks when I smiled. He had his arms around my shoulders and back and he would just hold me. S to the C to the ARY ;) I hardly remember this dude from the past and he's all hanging on me telling me that he wants a wife to stay home and be a soccer mom. I could be that type of person but damn, technically I've only known him 4 hours and I want his paws off me.
Would someone kindly let me know if I am over reacting? Should I let him do this and just go nutz about it? The whole time this was going on I was sweating like a pig! I had to sit in my next class by this hot dude and I literally had to move away cuz I had such bad BO and didn't want to offend anyone. Is he moving too fast or am I still living in the good days when you wouldn't hold a hand untill you had been seeing each other a few times. Is society moving this quickly? Help. Comments are greatly appreciated.
Melissa