Howdy, life sucks. Mom drinks way too much and I'm probably gonna kill her soon. My birthday was Oct. 1 and she was drunk. Mom, Dude, and I had been fighting all day. By the time family got there you could feel the tention. Mom had made Nana cry, Uncle Bob and Aunt Helen were extremely quiet, you could just tell the day was not going well and everyone knew what was wrong. I have half a mind to just yell at mom but I don't think Dude would back me that much. Grrr.
I don't really know what is going on with this new guy in my life either, which bugs me. He's strange and mysterious and I know less about him now than I did 4 years ago. Its so aggrivating. I want to know everything about him, but I'm scared to ask. He is always wanting to know what I'm thinkin, but at that moment I don't think. Usually its cuz he's kissing me or something. I would rather not be thinking instead of overthinking which I tend to do. He wants the woman to be in charge, but I want to be taken care of and swept off my feet. There is too much chaos in my life right now and I don't need him adding to it. We're either gonna have a relationship or just be friends, but I don't want that grey area...
Don't worry, next time I write will be me saying that I changed my mind and let everything happen exactly the way I didn't want it to.
Melissa
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