Insane Asylem

Ok I wanted contact with people so I made some phone calls yesterday and today. I spoke with Laura a lot and never heard from Doug, which explains why I probably heard so much from Laura, she couldn't get hold of Doug lmao! Anyway I called Meg and about 2 hours later I hear from her. Well that's fine and we start chatting. She's giving me an update on her family and being all serious and for once I'm actually listening and paying full attention. Suddenly, the home phone starts ringing right next to my other ear. That scares the crap and out Meg and I both cuz it was very very loud. It was a Florida call so I figured it was our time share confirming we got the letter yesterday and I ran down to give mom the phone, but she aready answered it on the downstars line so I was running up and down with a phone on either ear like an idiot, making Megan laugh, which isn't bad
I get back upstairs and now I"m on the cell, mom's on the house line, and the doorbell rings and it's the lawn company. Mom, who has throat cancer and barely has a voice, is yelling for Dude to answer the door so I call really loudly for him to help mom out, and that basically means I'm screaming in Megan's ear, which is still really funny. Dad answers the door as I arrive to do it and mom yells for me to grab her some paper to write down info from this Florida call on the house line. I run across the room to do that, but mom never thinks I hear her so I'm grabbing this paper in the next room, mom is on the phone yelling at me to do stuff, Dude is answerin the door and approving the lawn guy to work. I turn around with the notepad and all I see is mom throwing the house phone, the cat flying up the stairs. I'm trying to bring mom paper and now she's freaking out "screaming" and liquids are going everywhere because while all this nutzness was occuring, mom was tryin to get her nutrition in through her gravity feeding in her stomach, but when she turned around, the thing popped out of her stomach and liquid went everywhere! I"m giving Meg the update on this and she is just laughing hysterically and tellilng me how much she misses me lol. I throw the notepad in the air and run to get paper towels and I"m yelling to Dude to deal with this as he is coming up the stairs. Dude just sluggishly walks up to mom, and for a minute I swore he might just smack her upside the head. That would have been funny.
Dude cleans up mom and puts her back together and I'm like 'where the hell is the phone and is anyone left on the other line?' Nobody seems concerned about this, but inquiring Melissas want to know, so I pick up the line and tell the lady we are having a crisis and she needs to call back and she's just like "yeah I could tell, sorry to cause trouble, how's tomorrow afternoon?' I'm like 'yeah fine bye.'
Now, did I get my wish for wanting contact with people or what?
Good thing I had Dew today huh?